i stumbled upon urbandictionary.com
(Urban Dictionary is a slang dictionary with your definitions. Define your world.) check it out for more witty definitions.
anyway, i decided to look up the word politics, what with the elections coming and all.
here's what i got:

POLITICS:

The system that governs the world. A system of cheating, lying, and scandal. Coming from the phrase poly, meaning many, and ticks, meaning bloodsucking parasites.

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An excuse for people to feel that they're right about something and that all who disagree are idiots who need to be either set straight or shot, without the need for knowledge or the ability to think for oneself.

"The president's an idiot."
"No, you are."
"Fuck you."
"Eat me, bitch."

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The cage which houses monkeys and snakes. See political party.

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The art of making it look like you are actually helping those that your represent in a government organization while actually creating more problems and blaming them on other politiicans so you can get re-elected.

Politics is the root of all evil.

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the cause of all the worlds problems and the solution to all the worlds problems.

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a trial-and-error problem in which people don't learn. (philippine politics, anyway)

that's my definition. what's yours?